I look in the mirror and no longer recognize who I see. Who is this that looks back at me? I always thought that I knew. But now, I’m deeply confused. Realizing that I have not been myself for quite some time. Trying to get back to the old me, the way I used to feel. To the things that I used to do, to the things that I used to enjoy. But I can’t. This is when I’m reminded that I’m trying to turn into a newer version of myself. One that is better in almost every way. The only things that would leave and cease to be, are things that I think I need. Nothing that’s detrimental to my health or survival. Just wants and cravings, physical things that I think bring me peace. I know where I’m being called to go, but what makes it so hard to get started? These baby steps of progress just make me frustrated. Make me want to accept this life for what it is, instead of what it can be. Not wanting to accept that I spent most of my life walking in the wrong direction. Not practicing the right things, thinking the right way or acting the right way. Now I got to turn around and deal with the hike back.